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[30 May 2006|01:00am] |
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So how's it going guys ?
Journal stalker who refuses to tell me who you are,
how are you ?
how was your weekend ?
Mine wasn't too bad.
Big Vaughn was back for the weekend.
From the Army and all.
So we chizzzilled with him.
But today.
That's the story I want to tell.
Well, I was supposed to go to the Barbeque at Brittney's.
Her daddy invited me last week.
EVERYONE knew I was going.
But last minute, I get uninvited because Brandi and Bry don't like me.
Okay whatever.
But Bry didn't have to do what he did to Britt.
Shit's fucked up, real fucked up.
So anyway I was like wow what am I supposed to do now ?
My plans got fucked, and everyone else already had shit going on.
So I decided to put on a bikini && wash the Benz.
Britt's dad dropped her off while I was giving all the senior citizens of Delran heart attacks.
And we went out, didn't really know what to do.
And Britt came up with this great idea.
To get a blow up boat and go sit on the lake.
So we did it.
We went to Branch Brook and they didn't have em.
The guy said Dicks, so we went there.
And we got one.
A 4 man blow up boat, comes equipped with paddles and pump.
Only 60 bucks.
So we went back to the lake, pumped it, put on our bikini's.
And we sat on the lake for hours.
It was so funny, and so much fun.
We were calling everyone to come back there and see us.
My daddy showed up, lol.
I'm like I think that's my dad.
And it was lol.
And Megan and Bobby came and saw us too.
They helped us deflat the boat and carry everything to my car too.
lol it was a lot of fun and real relaxing.
A cop came back, and we like waved to him.
And asked if we were allowed out there and he said yeah just don't swim in the water.
And we were like we weren't planning on it.
And he was like is that your Mercedes and I said yeah lol.
So it was a good day.
Good bye.
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| MIDNIGHTS !!! |
[26 May 2006|01:48am] |
   yeah. that's my daughter. the love of my life. she's got a fatty ? if i ever go to prom. she's my date. she's got a tux and everything. she's moving too. we're gona play frisbee on the beach together. i love you her <3 so much  that's tabby he's chill  and that's me. rough day. |
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[26 May 2006|12:12am] |
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Alright. I have a lot I need to get out. And I'm not all about talking to people. So here it goes. Yes, I'm moving. I still have this house, in lovely Delran. And I have my condo in Wildwood. I can move in right now. But my bed won't be there until Monday. I'm not running away. I'm not going because I'm upset or depressed. I'm not trying to hurt anyone, I'm not trying to forget you guys. My friends, are one of a kind. You mean the world to me. But look, I'm young, my daddy tells me I'm beautiful, and so does Doug, lol. And I want to live my life, I want to do things I haven't done, I want to see things I haven't seen. And the extent of doing that here, in Riverside, is nothing but fucking drugs. And well dudes, I'm not really about that. Maybe weeds the cool thing to do these days, but I like to be awake throughout the day. I just need to get away, I'll be back all the time though. And if you're one of my close friends, you can come visit me. Brittney and Jess you guys know you're always welcome, you can come visit and stay whenever you want. I wana start over. And like I said you guys mean the world to me, but it's like I just want to start over. I'm blonde again for the summer, and I got my hot drop top, and waking up and seeing the beach outside my window seems a lot better then my neighbors siding. This is gona be good for me. I'm gona be able to get my school work done. I've been slacking real bad. I can spend some more time with my family. And honestly, this isn't because of any boy. It's because of all the fucking drama. Riverside bullshit drama. I can't do it. I'm gona be 18 in December, I'm not trying to come back and have to deal with this little kid drama. I ain't gona lie, I might not come back. Yeah, I'll be back for my concerts, and doctors appointments, and physical therapy, and boost cravings, and shit. But what's really keeping me here. My family can come see me. My daddy will be with me. And my babypoo Midnights will be with me .. She's the love of my life. And my job, I can do from there. School, my computer's coming with me. And my friends, you can come visit. I might come back after summer, I don't know yet. I'll see how shit flys. But damn. What's up with people today ? Like for real ? How can you be my best friend to my face, then turn around and talk mad shit ? I'm so sick of that. I'm the drama queen. Yeah, okay. I fucking hate drama. Don't you notice, when people start fights I just don't talk. I'm good yo. My Ginga taught me well. I'm Sicilian as all hell, and it's a good quality to have. You fuck me over, you piss me, you are as good as dead to me. Unless you have something of mine, I will annoy the shit out of you, until I get it and then you're dead. Yeah, I'm rambling. My journal stalker hasn't left any comments. It makes me sad. HI DADDY!! So yeah, Sunday, Monday. I don't know. But I'm going. June 1st, is the Twiztid concert. June 8th I believe I have my Botox injections, whose gona come hold my hand because Barbie over here is gona be scared shitless. All those needles, in my neck. Wow. I cried when the doctor gave me a shot in the arm the other day. I HATE NEEDLES. Anyway, I gota be back June 15th too. SLAYER !!! Ahh, I'm excited. I might die that day. Hope not, gota make it to Ozzfest and Nickelback mannn. And I NEEED to meet Aaron Lewis before I die. Dude, if some random guy walked up to me and was like yo wana go party with Aaron Lewis, dude I'd marry him. Oh and for my uh guy status. I'm single. And it's gona stay that way. This summer's about me. Guys, are pricks. I need a break, from them all. Maybe I should find a guy that's not from Riverside. lol. Alright well, I'm gona go hop in the shower now. Bye !
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[25 May 2006|04:05am] |
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dad it's kinda late, it's been a bad night. but wake me up before you guys leave, so i can go to work and try and answer the phones and stuff. and i need mommy to give my medicine for you leave. okay ? well night night daddy i love you
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[25 May 2006|02:11am] |
          im blonde im single he dont want me cooool huh yeah so im feeling pretty worthless but thats besides the point cause it aint nothing new really yeah so im not in the greatest mood im kind of in a fuck every guy mood i feel like shit i have mono and a killer headache cause i was crying and that makes me a little girl im not allowed to cry so im not good enough and you mysterious commenter you're right happy ? high five he dont love me and we wont be together and uhh i know who really cares brittney went nuts when i was in the hospital she called tj called jess called they all came to see me britts still here tj saw me too and other then that no one cared no surprise though now atleast i know who really cares who actually LOVES me whos really my friend i love you guys thank you so much especially britt and uhh yeah im in a pretty shitty mood but im chillin with my bitch and we be on the phone with da hunnnnays and jon hes like asleep though IS THAT HIS REAL BODY you mean is he that hairy YEAHHHhhhh haha too cute love but uh yeah if you have a penis dont talk to me im about to light my ceiling on fire cause these pictures piss me siosdfkjsdf dude im loud i can be loud and it doesnt hurt omg im so happy maybe i dont have mono maybe its just strep or maybe its the pain killer but dude im happy cause i can talk without hurting and it only hurts a little when i swallow jon fell asleep and jess is getting pissed ut oh my head hurts so bad yeah but im blonde again and i got the barbie car with my drop top and pink seat covers and pink everything and i can move if i want to so once im better it will be a great fucking summer mannn i hope blondes do have more fun right i did lets go clubbing this weekend yo woo jess is getting heated im hungry wow not even gona say anything dude how can i just not care anymore how can i just have no feelings how can i not be emotional how do you like stop loving someone i'd love you to know cause this i hate it well i think britts leaving so i should get off and go to bed before i like break downa and cry again cause im not allowed to do that and i should try and get some sleep cause im sick and i need to work cause im poor and i gota be a grown up and pay for shit and i aint got the money for that and i gota be up to dress britt for the wedding and do her hizzair and play with her FACE cause im a good person well i try to be yea really shitty mood so fuck off and die prick i love you : \ |
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[24 May 2006|05:52pm] |
thagerlxxx ... right ?
okay so i don't know you. but you know me ? and you know lance ? and everything between us ? yeah cause the whole world knows mine and lance's relationship ? and my friends won't miss me ? that's why i'm sitting here sick, can't leave my house and all my REAL friends come over and chill with me. yeah fuck you.
why don't you just man the fuck up and tell me who the fuck you are. whether i know you or not.
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[24 May 2006|01:41am] |
it's funny when people leave comments in my journal talking shit, starting drama. it's fucking hillarious. cause see hunnay, you mean nothing to me. i don't waste my time making up screen names, and leaving comments talking shit about you. grow up. damn. i love your jealousy and all, but it's like damn. when the fuck are you grow up ? i don't like you. you don't like me. most people don't like you. your fake. so just go away.
yerp. so my head got real bad last night. i was throwing up, couldn't walk good, my vision was all blurry. it was bad. i went to the hospital. i hada use a wheel chair. they couldn't really do much, they released me at like 5am. I came home and slept, and when I woke up at 10 I was in tears my head hurt so bad, and my throat. It hurt so bad to swallow. My parents called the new Neurologist and he said it sounds like strep or mono, and to go to my family doctor. So I did, at 6. And turns out, I have mono. I have no idea how, who, when, where I got it. But it's bad. Right now I'm extremely fucked up and I still feel horrible.
I gota try and get some sleep.
<3
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[23 May 2006|01:07am] |
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So. Looks like Friday, is my moving day. I scared but excited, and sad but happy. I don't want to leave everyone, but I feel like I have too. I need some isolation. I need to do my school work. But it's like I'm gona miss so many people. My ladies, Jess and Brittney, whos gona drive around with me jamming the fuck out ? And the boys. If Jon's not around whos gona make me laugh ? And if TJ's not around who am I supposed to fuck with ? And the Boost issue is going to be a big problem. And even though Lance isn't here, and I don't know where stand, he's just even farther away. I don't know.. I'll have my cat. And my family. And that should be enough, it is, but my friends are one of a kind, I don't really want new ones, I don't want to replace them. And I sure as hell don't want any other guy.
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[21 May 2006|11:38pm] |
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I came home tonight, and got in the shower. I was in a great mood. Made up for the shitty weekend and all. Then like, one thing someone said completely changed that mood. It's like damn. Everything I know, everyone I know.. I just don't fucking know anymore. I don't know who really is a friend. I don't know who I can trust anymore. I'd give it all up, everything, everyone ... for one just one real friend, one really person. Anymore I just don't think it's possible. I can't wait to leave. Soon, so so soon. I went out and got paint for my room tonight, and a bed spread, blankets and a lamp. I started packing too. I'm leaving. I've been so scared to leave, but fuck it. I have nothing. I have no one. Why bother staying. Like seriously. Love don't mean shit. Caring don't mean shit. Helping don't mean shit. Being there don't me shit. So fuck it. I'm gone. I'll make sure not to say good bye.
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[19 May 2006|03:11am] |
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Heyy.
What's been up ?
Well I'm okay.
Got my MRI today.
Been going to the carnival.
I just wana make it clear to the world.
I'm single.
But I'm not.
If that makes sense ?
I'm not looking for anyone.
Definitely not looking for love.
I love this kid.
And that's it.
I don't wana hurt anyone.
But this is how it is.
So just don't like me.
Don't get all lovey dovey with me.
Please, I don't like hurting people.
But my hearts been in the same place for years now.
And it's not going to change.
Anyway.
I got new pictures.
But my computers being gay.
And I'm not trying to sit here for hours uploading em.
Maybe tomorrow ?
Well I need sleep.
Goodnight.
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[16 May 2006|10:36am] |
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Long time no update eh ?
So life's alright.
Haven't really been up to much.
Carnival starts tonight.
And that's about it.
EXCEPT
My new house ...
almost ready for me.
Less then 2 weeks now.
Yyyyeeeeaaaahhhhh
That's whats up ?
You gona miss me when I'm gone.
Daddy wants me to move.
And part of me wants to too.
I know I'm definitely staying for a week or so.
Then I'll be back && decide.
I got tons and tons of concerts I gota make.
Sooooo
How have you been ?
Sad cause I haven't updated ?
Probably.
You fucking stalker.
Toodles !
<3
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[12 May 2006|01:29am] |
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All these miles, haunting questions linger in my mind.
And all the while, making bad decisions out of line.
Still I've tried, to let go of the danger in my life.
It's alright, when that's the only thing I've left behind.
And there's still time...
Wait for me. There's so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it's not because of you I've had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you'll remember me.
At this time, I'm counting all the reasons I should stay.
Bottom line. I'm missing all the things I gave away.
I remind, and see your face every single day.
Still I'm blind. I wish that there was something I could say
To make things right...
Wait for me. There's so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it's not because of you I've had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you'll remember me.
Just hold on a little bit longer.
Thoughts and memories will be enough
My need for you is only growing stronger.
I know you don't understand it much
But it doesn't mean I have to care about you any less
It doesn't have a thing to do with that.
There's still so many questions that are gonna' be addressed
I'm sorry that it had to be like this.
But there's still time to make things right.
Wait for me. There's so much more of life for us to see.
You must believe, it's not because of you I've had to leave.
Wait for me. I only hope that you'll remember me.
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[10 May 2006|12:27am] |
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I don't feel loved anymore.
No one ever comments me.
I'm gona cry.
: (
So works pretty gay.
I saw Lance today : )
I'm seeing Gretchen tomorrow.
With Meg Meg && Big Rob.
July= Me && Meg + Nickelback
Yeah, that's really what's up.
Well I'm mad bored.
And pretty beat.
So I'ma eat this death I just made.
Then go to sleep I guess.
Goodnight.
Kait don't love you.
<3
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[09 May 2006|01:06am] |
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Hey hey.
How's it going ?
I'm doing goooooood.
: )
Everything's like getting so much better.
I'm so happy.
I thought everything was like real good.
But apparently not.
I keep hearing shit from all different people.
Surprise surpise though.
Well I gota be going.
I gota straighten my hair.
Then go to sleep.
So I can get up bright && early for work.
Then I'ma go see the greatest guy ever.
So night night.
<3
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[07 May 2006|05:12am] |
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I'm stay.
This is where I belong.
Running away, won't solve anything.
I know I'm loved here.
I know I'll be missed.
And I don't know if I'd be able to leave everyone.
Actually, I'd have no problem leaving most of everyone.
But there's though few.
I never get sick of.
That make my life different.
My boys.
My girls.
My world.
People like these, make everything seem okay.
But yeah, I decided I'm gona stay.
And just go away for the weekends and such.
YOU GET ALMOST ALL SUMMER !!
Whose happy ?
Love me now ?
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[06 May 2006|08:54pm] |
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Music makes my world go round.
No wonder I'm broke.
83 $ in the bank.
Not cool at all.
But you don't even know.
I'm just have to work my ass off.
It's all good.
Gretchen Wilson Wednesday.
Twiztid June 1st.
Slayer June 15th.
Ozzfest Augst 4th.
Yeah.
That's really what's up.
Well I'm gona go back out now.
Have fun with no money.
WOO !
</3
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kaitlynmoira's journal
